Tips for parents to help keep children safe online and talking about possible dangers
Help your children stay safe online so that they can make informed choices and ask for your help if they need it.
- Be supportive: talk about who they chat to, what's their favourite app, games and websites.
- Set rules: talk about the types of websites they can visit, the amount of time spent online and age ratings.
- Parental control: use parental control to set privacy settings and monitor screen time and access to content.
Be aware of the consumer and media advice offered online and check the safety of games and apps available to children.
Helpful websites for parents to read and talk to their children about include:
- Kids Helpline: being safe on the internet https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents
- The National online safety website contains a wealth of information on speaking to your child about being safe online and articles on social media apps, games and sites children use. https://nationalonlinesafety.com/faqs/wakeupwednesday
Screen addiction is a real problem. The link below contains information for parents and carers to help them identify and support children who may be addicted to their devices.
https://nationalonlinesafety.com/guides/screen-addiction-guide-for-parents
For information on what bullying is and how to help your children stay safe online, see link below.
https://nationalonlinesafety.com/guides/what-children-need-to-know-about-online-bullying
For more information on keeping children stay safe online, when using games, apps and social media, check out the following links:
https://nationalonlinesafety.com/guides/fortnite-battle-royale-online-safety-guide
https://nationalonlinesafety.com/wakeupwednesday/what-parents-need-to-know-about-minecraft
https://nationalonlinesafety.com/guides/whatsapp-2022
https://nationalonlinesafety.com/guides/app-store-online-safety-guide-for-parents
The National Online Safety website also offers guides every Wednesday to keep parents updated on new social media apps, games and sites.
Setting boundaries
Setting Boundaries for your children helps them feel safe & helps you keep your sanity.
You may think, why should I set boundaries? If you answer yes to any points listed below, then it's time to set some boundaries.
- Does your child tell you what to do and then throws tantrums if you don't do what he/she wants?
- Does your child interrupt your conversations with others, without waiting until you've finished?
- Do you find yourself constantly yelling at your child?
- Does your teenager walk into your room without knocking on your door?
- Does your child act out or break things and tries to control your house?
- Does your child say "I don't love you anymore" when he/she does not get their way?
- Do you find yourself doing too much for your child instead of teaching them to do things they can or should do for themselves?
We all want the best for our children and want them to succeed. By setting clear boundaries, you are teaching them to be responsible for their actions. Letting your child work through problems and experience how to overcome disappointments is an important part of their development.
How to set boundaries and gain control
Here are some tips to help you set boundaries and gain control of your household:
Define the boundary
Define your boundaries and hold children accountable - As a family, talk with your child about ways that will help you all get on well together. Just set a few boundaries that are age appropriate. This could include:
- be kind to each other
- put away things after using them
- ask before borrowing things
- listen to each other
- set bedtime on school nights
- help with chores
Expect to be heard
Expect to be listened to, use a calm voice and ask them to stop and look at you. Stay calm when they ignore you and speak using a firm voice.
Let your child know when they have crossed boundaries. Tell your child when you are not happy with their behaviour but don't use labels such as "you're stupid, naughty and bad". Tell them "you made a bad choice, it's ok to be angry but it's not ok to kick the doors or hit someone" and give them a consequence for their actions.
Be consistent with rewards and consequences. If they do something well, praise them "great job, packing up your toys straight away". Use rewards and visual charts to help your child keep track of their positive behaviour. If they do the wrong thing and continue to ignore your directions, follow through with natural consequences. Examples of logical consequences may be:
- If you waste my time, I'll waste your playtime (E.G. iPad, PlayStation and watching TV)
- Use time-outs for not following your direction, being disruptive, unsafe, having tantrums, arguing or trying to negotiate with you
- Withdraw a privilege if they are not looking after a toy/game or being violent
Provide reasons for expectations
Providing reasons for your expectations will help children understand and accept your limits and consequences. For example:
- You need to play in the yard, the street is too busy and you could get hurt
- Bedtime on school nights is 8:30pm, so you can have energy to learn.
- Walk inside to be safe
Praise and thank your child for doing what you ask. Learning new behaviours takes time, so be patient and prepared to remind your child of what you expect. Article compiled by T. Rigas
Catch your child being good, this will encourage good behaviour!
How to gain your child's attention
Listen
If you really want your child to listen to you, stop what you are doing and listen. Model the behaviour. When a child is not feeling listened to, they are more likely to whinge, shout, cry or throw a tantrum to get your attention.
Connect
Connect before you start speaking. Move in close, get down on your child's level and touch shoulder or arm lightly. Make sure you have their attention by saying "Can I tell you something?" when he/she looks up, then start talking.
Tone of voice
How you say something is as important, as what you say. Use an up-beat, positive tone. "...... (name) great packing of your toys, keep it up". When you set limits, sound definite and confident. "...... (name), you need to pick up all your toys". To indicate disapproval, use a firmer, lower, authoritative tone, but do not shout. Avoid nagging words - make requests clear, short and specific. For example "8:00pm is bedtime".
Clarity
Provide clear directions and watch for understanding. Break tasks into small steps and ask your child to repeat the directions. This will help your child with organizational and sequencing skills
Use fewer words when you give instructions. "...... (name), look at me"
Point of view
See it from your child's point of view. "I know it's hard to stop playing, but I now need you to do your homework"
Getting co-operation
Engage co-operation and work out what are must do's, non-negotiable's and can dos. Keep your tone warm and make a statement that describes the problem. "There's paint on the table" or "I can see wrappers on the floor".
Describe how you feel - "I don't like the tone you're speaking to me"
Offer a choice - "Would you like to clean your toys now or before iPad time?"
Avoid lectures, use one word - "Shoes!", "Breakfast!"
Use ‘When/Then' technique to focus your child on what needs to get done - "When you've brushed your teeth, then I'll read you a story" or "Homework first, then you can watch TV"
Stay calm
When we get upset, kids feel unsafe and go into fight or flight mode. If you are running late for an appointment because the kids are not listening, take a deep breath and help them get ready. Once you are in the car, you can ask them to help you brainstorm ways to get out of the house on time.
Routines and timeframes
Set a time and stick to routines. For example "You need to do your chores by 4:00pm, then you can play your video games". Have a list of things kids need to do before they leave the house - brush your teeth, use the toilet, pack your backpack, put on your shoes, etc. If they like watching TV or playing their iPad, then put your child in charge of what he/she needs to do before they can do what they like.
Games to improve attention
Playing movement and music games help develop attention skills. Games such as 'Red Light, Green Light' and 'Simon Says' are fun and engaging ways to promote attention skills. Follow the Leader - helps young children intentionally focus. Research shows that children who exercise before school will pay attention better in the mornings. Children need to move around and require about 20 minutes of exercise twice a day.
Help your child learn to focus - playing with puzzles, building sets and card games are some ways to help your child focus.
Security and safety
Provide Security - children need to feel safe. A stable routine and assurance that someone is there should they need protection, will help children develop and focus on their school work.